Tubes it is

So Logan is definitely getting tubes. His appointment with the ENT was originaly scheduled for the end of April but I begged to get him in sooner because they just won't go away. So they called me back today and he's in for next Tuesday. They will check to make sure he has no hearing loss like his brother did and then they'll schedule his surgery. He's so little so of course I'm really nervous... Gavin was a year and a half old when he had his. So, wish us luck, I'll update as we go!

Oh yea, for those following my weight loss, I totally forgot to update anything about that, but I've lost 3 lbs. I'd much rather it be 13, but all I can do is work harder! Thank all of you for the support!!!

To Be or Not to Be Done

I sit back and watch all of these BFP's pop up around me and I can't help but feel that motherly urge to have another!! I'm in such a hard place right now b/c 3 is plenty, but I don't feel done yet. I've always heard if you're unsure, don't do it (vasectomy and/or tubal). Logan is only 6 months old so I really don't understand why I have this urge. I've been having endometriosis symptoms since after Gavin, but I didn't know what they were. I just dealt with the pain and when I got pregnant with Logan they suddenly went away. I also read that that does happen to a lot of women. So when I got my first period after having Logan, the pain was back. :( I'm not talking about normal period pain either, I lay on the couch in a ball and try not to breath.. its bad.

After some research, I've found that the only thing that explains my symptoms is endo, which runs in my family. So if it is in fact endo, I won't be fertile much longer, b/c it will spread. I'm going to my DR to get a proper diagnosis and hey, maybe I don't have it!! But if he tells me I do, I know exactly what I'm gonna feel... the urge to have another baby before I can't anymore. I talked to DH about this, who is VERY done, but he's being really sympathetic. I think he understands how I feel, or is at least trying to. So instead of the quick and definite, "NO!" answer when I mention another baby, he's asking questions and not really fighting me on it. I'm hoping by the time Logan is 3, our house will be finished in the renovations department and we'll have a 4 bedroom, completed house. I'm hoping by that time I can talk DH into TTC.

I'm still unsure though.. I'm so young so I know I have a long time to decide.. but what if I don't? What if I go to the DR and my window of time is slowly running out on me. I think as a woman, I'll always have the urge to have another baby. I just need to decide if I want 3 or 4. This is NOT an easy thing to decide. :(

Off to school she'll go

So I called the elementary school where Rileigh will be attending Pre-K, figuring registration would be in a few months. Nope. Its the 25th of THIS MONTH. I know that she doesn't actually start until August, but this is the first step! My sweet, first born will be going off to school. I don't know how to handle it. I'm definitely excited for this next milestone, but its so bittersweet. I've been a stay at home mom with her for almost four years, and now its time to send her off to someone else all day. I know she needs the interaction and if I kept her from going to Pre-K (elective), I feel she'd be behind for Kindergarten (mandatory).

I know I'll probably get more peace and quiet during the day, and the boys nap well so I could nap with them. I don't really care about all that. I feel like all I'm gonna do is worry about her, even though she'll only be half a mile down the road. I'm working on signing her up for dance or in one of the local cheer gyms, just so she can get use to interaction with other kids in a structured environment. I know I should have done this a while back, but day care wasn't an option for my husband and myself. Now I feel like I'm giving her a poor start. :(

I know everything will work out, even if I do bawl my eyes out her first day. My mom never had a chance to go to all the school functions with me, but you can bet I will! I'll volunteer for every field trip and attend every mommy and kid lunch day. I know how it feels to see all the other mommies and daddies there and not mine. As much as I'm excited for this next step, I'm also terrified and sad. My little baby girl is growing up... :tear: